10 homeschooling myths 💥 busted 💥
In this issue, we break down the ten most common myths and misconceptions about homeschooling.
Over the last couple years, we’ve talked to thousands of families considering homeschooling as well as many who were adamantly against it. Over this time, we’ve heard every single reason families were opposed to homeschooling. Oddly, the most common objections are also the least founded. For the most part, these reasons are based on anecdotes, impressions of pandemic homeschooling, or historical approaches to homeschooling. Homeschooling is a broad term that encompasses many approaches to education. Homeschooling certainly has real pros and cons but it’s high time to start dispelling some of the more common rumors.
We’ll start off with the most common and equally misguided myth about homeschooling.
#1 Homeschoolers don’t have friends
“I want to homeschool, but I’m worried about socialization”
Contrary to popular belief, homeschooling is often highly social, just as much, if not more so than traditional school. Just as homeschoolers curate their child’s education, they also curate their children’s social experiences to include plenty of time for play with children of mixed ages in a diverse community.
An ongoing survey of 1000 parents by Modulo showed 75.1% of homeschooling parents are satisfied or highly satisfied with their children’s social compared to only 51.25% in traditional school.
Some of the advantages to homeschooling for building social skills include participation in mixed-age social and learning environments, being part of inclusive communities, and having a lot more time to socialize (3-4 hours a day vs 30 minutes of recess and weekends). More parent involvement in facilitating social experiences also helps kids cultivate social skills.
According to University of Chicago research, there are more cliques than ever at school. Cliques are frequently segregated by race, age, gender, and social status. These exclusive groups can have a negative impact on children’s self-esteem as members or non-members of the clique. As cliques revolve around following certain codes of conduct, counter-culture cliques may unite around drugs and alcohol.
Research by Stanford Professor of Education Daniel McFarland demonstrates that the network ecology of the school has a big impact on the degree to which students formed cliques. Smaller schools with more focus on academics had less bullying. Secular homeschooling communities are much smaller than public schools, and the entire community puts a high premium on quality education. Caring about education is the core value that brings these communities together. As communities are smaller (and parent-supervised), there is more accountability and far less bullying.
Additional factors that have been shown to reduce bullying include more opportunities for connection and self-expression, more emphasis on meaningful extracurriculars (especially arts), and more education around social-emotional learning, all areas where homeschoolers tend to place a great deal of emphasis.
Often part of marginalized groups (who were bullied or unrecognized at school), secular homeschoolers form highly inclusive and interdependent communities that rely on each other for childcare and education.
When it comes to building social skills, it can help a lot to have parents around to give guidance on how to interrelate, hold kids accountable and intervene when conflicts arise. In Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers, child development specialist Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D and Gabor Maté, M.D., question the assumption that kids should learn how to socialize from their peers (rather than their parents). According to the book, “children today increasingly look to their peers for direction—their values, identity, and codes of behavior. This “peer orientation” undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development, and fosters a hostile and sexualized youth culture.”
Last but not least, it might be a mistake to compare homeschooling and school for social-emotional development. In our interview with homeschooling dad and best-selling author, Nir Eyal, he pointed out that social experiences vary widely in both homeschooling and traditional school environments.
Everybody asks about socialization for a homeschooled kid, but for some reason we don't ask the same question about traditional school. I had a terrible experience …in middle school and early high school. I was bullied; I didn't feel like I had a group. It was very socially difficult for me, and I went to a traditional school. We have to compare apples to apples, not homeschooling to an ideal, but homeschooling to the reality of the fact that there can be many difficult social experiences in a school where you can't choose your friends very easily. When (my daughter) goes to trampoline parks, she likes some kids, some she doesn't, but she's not forced to be in a class with a set number of kids that she has to be around even if she doesn't like them - or they don't like her. In the real world, you can pick your own friends. That's how the real world works. And so we wanted to let her pick her own friends.” -Nir Eyal (Best-selling author of Hooked)
We could write an entire chapter debunking the myths that homeschoolers are anti-social (and we have). Suffice it to say, in our experience, we’ve found critiques that homeschooling is anti-social often come from anecdotal evidence, “I once met a weird homeschooler,” and rarely from real research.
We strongly encourage parents considering homeschooling to attend a homeschooling meetup in their city to see for themselves how vibrant homeschooling can be. You’ll rarely see a more active, inclusive, and engaged group of kids and parents. These are true communities that support each other in every aspect of life.
As the homeschooling movement continues to grow, it will become increasingly social. And we expect the network effects from parents wanting to bring more friends into the community to be huge.
#2 Parents aren’t qualified to teach their kids
“I can’t teach because I’m not a teacher.”
The second most prevalent myth about homeschooling is that parents aren’t qualified to teach their kids.
Considerable research demonstrates that there is no factor that makes a greater impact in a child’s education than the degree to which their parents are involved in their child’s education.
According to a peer-reviewed study published in MIT’s Review of Economics and Statistics, the degree to which parents invest energy and time in their child’s education (reading stories aloud, helping with homework, communicating with teachers, finding educational resources for them to use) makes a more significant impact on their academic achievement than the energy and time invested by their teachers (or even the students themselves).
And it’s easier than ever for parents to get involved, regardless of their own educational background. Along with the rise of homeschooling (3x since pre-pandemic levels), so too has there been a massive growth in educational resources specifically designed to help parents and caregivers lead their child’s education, both physical and digital (many of them free).
New technology expands access to educational software, making it easier for parents and caregivers to guide learning with well-designed, adaptive curriculum. Benjamin Bloom’s research on 1-1 mastery learning (Bloom’s 2 Sigma problem) revealed that 1-1 instruction results in superior results to classroom instruction, regardless of whether that person is a trained teacher.
No matter how qualified and talented a classroom teacher is (and that’s far from a guarantee these days), it’s extremely difficult for them to compete with the learning outcomes that can be achieved through 1-1 parent-led instruction and/or personalized educational materials that ideally support the way that parent’s child learns best. Likewise, even the most exceptional teacher won’t have the in-depth understanding parents have of their own kids. Or the opportunity to understand them, and how they learn, better over the course of many years.
1-1 mastery learning naturally leads to better learning outcomes, and with all the resources designed for parent-led instruction, it’s easier than ever for parents to apply this type of learning with their kids, much more so than teachers who have to manage a class of 30-50 students.
Some parents may be concerned about how they can teach specialized subjects they’re not strong at themselves (like chemistry or math). Many families address this effectively by learning with their kids (rather than trying to teach them information), asking real questions, both modeling and encouraging them to find creative ways to solve problems. If a parent can model learning, they can teach their kids to learn. If a parent can learn and solve problems, they can teach.
Parent modeling is a more powerful teaching method than almost any other. Kids are very impressionable and developmentally programmed to observe and imitate their primary caregivers.
By modeling effective learning (rather than teaching), and skills such as growth mindset and grit, parents cultivate lifelong learners and autodidacts who can eagerly solve any problem, learn any skill, or climb any mountain that comes in their path.
We don't really teach (my daughter) anymore, because at 14, she's starting to outpace what we remember from our own education. So, we'll take a class with her. For example, I just finished a statistics class with her. So we're learning along with her, which I really like because I think it helps us really bond when she can see that struggling to learn a subject is common. It's part of the process. Everybody struggles to learn something new. -Nir Eyal
Experienced teachers know that giving students the space to solve problems, fail, try something new, and finally achieve success through successive failures and iteration - results in very deep learning. So, not being able to give the answers to kids is often a pro, not a con.
And homeschoolers have many more teachers besides their parents. In this information age, there are so many free or inexpensive classes available, in-person, online and at local community colleges that can support students’ learning - that “being qualified to teach” is a non-issue for many families. Many homeschoolers enroll in local afterschool classes, do internships or work with mentors and tutors to enhance their learning. Older peers often help educate younger students as well.
Like any skill, teaching skills can be improved - and this is just as relevant to families homeschooling as it is for families helping kids with homework. See our post on family involvement in education to learn how to optimize your approach to teaching your own kids.
#3 Homeschooling is a full-time job and/or very time consuming
“I can’t homeschool because I have a job.”
It’s natural that the first image that comes to mind when families think of homeschooling is something exactly like school, but at home (six hours a day around the kitchen table).
However, homeschooling doesn’t have to be time-consuming. In last week’s post, “What is Modular Learning?”, we discussed the different styles of homeschooling, and how homeschooling doesn’t mean you have to sit around a table 6 hours a day with your child. Homeschoolers often talk about their surprise to learn how efficient homeschooling can be.
1-1 Mastery Learning is far more efficient than classroom instruction, so children can learn the same amount of material in 1/10 of the time. There are only so many hours in a day that a child can even focus intently and productively on mastering complex concepts like math and literacy, which is why most modular learners practice “Mastery Hours,” where kids reserve 1-2 hours a day for focused one-on-one mastery learning and fill the rest of the time with self-directed learning, extracurriculars and play. Kindergarteners may spend 30 minutes to an hour on this focused learning time, while many teens can spend 2-3 hours a day in more intense concentration.
In contrast to academics, childcare can be a real concern for homeschooling families.
We recommend families look at academic learning and childcare as separate issues. Even as a single working parent or if both parents work full-time jobs, it’s still possible to homeschool - and many do. But let’s be honest: the six-hour school schedule doesn’t provide adequate or effective childcare for many families, either. In fact, homeschooling families sometimes find that they save money and can be more productive by developing a curated childcare schedule that helps them achieve a better work/life/family balance.
With modular learning, families only need to guide kids for 1-2 hours a day in 1-1 instruction (or really, guiding learning), to help them achieve academic outcomes far beyond their peers at school. As they grow older, they become even more independent and this time decreases. For more guidance on finding a flexible schedule childcare plan that optimizes learning and family life see our guides to schedules and childcare.
#4 Homeschooling is for the rich
“I can’t afford to homeschool.”
Many people have an image of Kardashian-style homeschooling, where wealthy families hire high-priced tutors to give individual lessons to their kids.
In contrast to popular belief, homeschoolers are just as likely to be poor or near poor than non-homeschoolers. Homeschoolers also have much more autonomy in how they spend their money on education.
While homeschoolers spend an average of $600/year on educational resources they choose to purchase, back-to-school spending grew by 8% this year to $661 on clothes and required school supplies. When families add in tutors and extracurricular classes, the cost can be even higher.
If families are considering sending 3 kids to private school, it becomes easy to see how much more effectively that money could be spent on hiring a childcare provider or core teacher, a couple tutors and signing them up for afterschool classes. It’s not hard to imagine a much better education for the price.
As a community, homeschoolers have developed systems for sharing childcare and education that significantly reduce the costs of raising a child.
For more on homeschooling on a budget, see our post “How to Afford Homeschooling.”
#5 Homeschooling hurts public school
“I won’t homeschool, because I believe in public school.”
Whenever we hear someone voice concern that homeschooling might hurt public school, we like to remind them that there’s an important distinction between public school and public education. At Modulo, we’re working to give every child access to high quality, personalized, public education: education that honors their unique interests and serves their unique needs.
Secondly, it’s unlikely, homeschoolers are taking resources away from public schools. Instead of moving to an expensive area to get access to better public schools, families can stay in their neighborhood, sending their tax dollars to their local public school - and if they really want to help, volunteer their time to support kids in their neighborhood. By joining a homeschooling community, rather than a pricey private school, they are putting their energy and resources into a socio-economically diverse group, rather than a wealthy community.
Public schools are so overcrowded that in some states like California and Nevada, there’s a 1:50 teacher-student ratio in many classrooms.
“A 2019 study found that predominantly white districts got $23 billion more than their non-white counterparts serving about the same number of students. The discrepancy is because property taxes are the primary source of funding for schools, and white districts tend to be wealthier than those of color.” - Edbuild.org
Regardless of where your beliefs lie here, we don’t think it’s fair to ask children to suffer for your lofty social ideals. The same person who asserts that homeschooling hurts public school is not quite as quick to give up their SUV, air conditioning, or stop air travel because they want to combat climate change.
If families want to improve public education, they have three options: voice, loyalty or exit. There are better ways to improve universal access to quality public education than making your child sit through six hours of direct instruction every day, especially when they’re not thriving academically, socially or emotionally.
A parent’s job is to find the best education available to their own child. A citizen’s job is to make quality education available to every child. Putting your child public school when they’re not thriving won’t help them - and it won’t help provide better education for other kids either.
Ideally, homeschoolers will pave the path for a new free and decentralized K12 education system with better accountability measures in place to ensure all children get access to quality learning, which should be their civic right.
Not convinced or want to learn more ways to help public education and ways to help provide quality education to every child? Read Modulo’s blog “Does homeschooling hurt public school?”
#6 Homeschoolers are religious
“I can’t stand all these crazy, nazi religious nuts who are keeping their kids out of school” -An anonymous person
Historically, many chose to homeschool for religious reasons.
However, modern-day homeschoolers are increasingly secular, composed of teachers, entrepreneurs and healthcare professionals who are dissatisfied with the state of public and private schooling, and think they can do it better themselves, by building a curated educational plan for their children.
According to a 2016 study by the Homeschool Legal Defense Association, (a Christian legal advocacy groups) about 25 percent of homeschooling families are secular and 2/3 are religious.
So who are these secular homeschoolers?
Excited by the idea of modular learning, techies in Silicon Valley and NYC are flocking to homeschooling.
The Black homeschooling population has grown 5x since pre-pandemic levels, with families frustrated by racism and White-washed history.
According to the US census, the #1 reason families homeschool is not religion, but dissatisfaction with the environment at their child’s school. Other families do homeschool for religious reasons, because their child has special needs, dissatisfaction with academic instruction or because their child has a physical or mental health challenge.
A search on Facebook or google will reveal thousands of secular, progressive, homeschooling groups run by principles of inclusion, diversity, democracy and human rights. These groups are full of families deeply passionate about education: teachers, artists, techies, entrepreneurs, health care professionals and intellectuals. These families are frustrated by the rigid school history and literature programs that excludes women and minorities, by racism, sexism, harassment, lack of self-directed learning, and the absence of challenging, mastery-based, personalized learning. They’re children are neurodiverse, gifted, autistic, dyslexic and neurotypical. They’re excited about giving their kids access to diverse learning environments, comprehensive curricula and empowering them to direct their own learning through self-directed, project-based learning. They’re excited to build true, democratic communities that revolve around education and resource-sharing.
At Modulo, we believe in the separation of church and state, that a decentralized public education should be secular and serve to uphold democratic ideals such as human rights, civil rights and sustainability. And religious education should not be funded by taxpayer dollars. However, it’s worthwhile saying that while there are exceptions, the families we know who do homeschool for religious reasons are more often than not compelled to do so in order to teach values and ethics, not hate and harm). We all need to work together to build. a better education system for our kids.
To learn how to connect with secular homeschoolers in your area, see our post on socialization.
#7 Homeschool communities aren’t diverse
“I would homeschool, but I want my child to be part of a diverse community.”
In 2020-2021, the fastest growing homeschool populations were Black and Latino students, citing racism, “Whitewashed” history and failing schools as the main drivers in their decision to exit the system. The opportunity gap between White and Black students grew considerably during the pandemic, leading many Black families to give up on a system that’s continually failed them.
Homeschooling is naturally more diverse
Since families are leaving school because they feel marginalized, it makes sense that these groups would be more diverse and inclusive across race, gender identity, socio-economic status, religion, and politics. Homeschooling groups are inter-generational and have mixed ages. Kids hang out in groups of mixed ages instead of all one age group, which is hugely beneficial to their learning and social-emotional development. Another big driver for families leaving school is low tolerance for gender identity and schools’ limited approach to sex education. Likewise, cognitive diversity (autism, dyslexia, profound giftedness) is a key driver in making families pull their kids out of school, so there is great diversity in how kids and their parents think and process information.
#8 I went to public school, and I turned out great, so it must be good for my child too
“Public school was great for me, so it must be great for my kid.”
School has changed a lot in the last 20 years. One of the big shockers of the pandemic was that families got an inside look at what was going on in their child’s school today. Class sizes have grown, as has bullying, mental health problems, homework, and pressure on teachers to conform to standardized exams. Recess has shrunk.
Simultaneously, larger trends towards remote work and entrepreneurship mean that kids have a higher need to develop 21st-century skills such as creativity and resilience, but school has not changed a great deal to shape them for that future reality.
Any family with this perspective that since “public school was good for me, so it must be good for my kid” will want to take a good look at their child’s public school now to make sure it’s still a good choice for their child today.
“I think it's the first time parents saw what their kids are getting in the classroom at the K through 12 level, in many, many years….Most parents, if you're in your thirties or forties and your kids are in sixth grade or eighth grade, you were taught in the classroom 30 years ago, it turns out some things have changed. So the current curricula is quite a bit different at a lot of schools. I know a lot of parents were just shocked, absolutely shocked at the stuff that was coming across.” - Marc Andreesen
#9 Homeschoolers don’t go to college
I want to prepare my child for success. I’m worried if we homeschool, they won’t get into a good college.
Every family is afraid of failing their child, and homeschooling can feel like a significant risk. But never fear; homeschoolers are more popular than ever at colleges and universities who love their autonomy, grit, growth mindset, and eclectic projects they’ve accomplished over the course of their K12 education.
Universities have an increasingly positive view of homeschooled students who tend to have high levels of independence and much more eclectic backgrounds relative to peers who went through traditional school.
In 2015, Business Insider called homeschooling the “new path to Harvard,” and in 2018, the Harvard university featured profiles of several of its homeschooled students on its website. In our post on Accountability and Support, we explore how to get into college as a homeschooler (and some competitive advantages homeschoolers can have over students from traditional schools).
From MIT Admissions:
“One quality that we look for in all of our applicants is evidence of having taken initiative, showing an entrepreneurial spirit, and making the most of their opportunities. Many of our admitted homeschooled applicants really shine in this area. These students truly take advantage of their less constrained educational environment to take on exciting projects, go in depth in topics that excite them, create new opportunities for themselves and others, and more.”
When Olivia Farrar started Harvard, she was already well prepared to drive her own learning:
“I’m not used to having these chunks of the day where somebody else has decided for me what I should be doing with my time…I think time management has always been one of my assets just because it was organic. I had to tell myself to sit down and do my homework. Nobody told me to do it.” - Olivia Farrar (Harvard ‘21)
After graduating from Harvard with a 3.9 Magna Cum Laude Plus, Farrar was immediately accepted into a Master's Program at Oxford University.
So, if colleges and universities are still around by the time your kid grows up, the admissions committee will likely be excited to meet them. For more on helping your homeschooler prepare to get into a good college, see our blog on accountability and support.
#10 Homeschooling is the best choice for every family
“School is horrible. Homeschooling will solve all my problems.”
While there are many benefits to homeschooling, it’s not the best choice for every family in every community all the time. And not all homeschooling is created alike. There are different styles of homeschooling, best practices in homeschooling, and ways to homeschool that are more effective in terms of intellectual and social-emotional development. It’s not necessarily harder than sending your child to school, but bringing intentionality to the process can make it better (just like school). What homeschool does offer is much greater optionality than traditional school. It’s up to you as a family to decide what you want to do with that freedom. And hopefully, it will be a process you co-curate with your child.
The quality of homeschooling can also be impacted by where you live and what resources are available. For example, some communities have larger groups of secular homeschooling communities than others.
Furthermore, at the heart of homeschooling and modular learning is a belief that diversity in educational models is critical to empowering all the diverse thinkers and families that are out there. You don’t have to homeschool to curate your child’s education, and practice modular learning. Public school is a perfectly viable module you can choose to use for modular learning. And some children love and excel at their public, online or private school.
In the next post, we’ll tackle the real pros and cons of homeschooling, to help families determine if homeschooling is the best choice for them, best practices and how to overcome challenges.